God's Grace And Mercy In My Life.

Luke 9:62  But Jesus said to him, “No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.

Anyone who knows me or reads anything I post online knows that I am constantly proclaiming how wonderful and amazing God IS. Sometimes I feel Like the psalmist always singing of the wonders of God. I use words like amazing, wonderful, and awesome when referring to God. I live daily in the appreciation of God's grace and mercy. I know first hand of his restoring power, of his never ending and unconditional love



I look at others that have been living for God for many many years and have put their hand to the plow and never turned back. I believe a special grace is upon them. I am not that person. I ask God why is it that some endure without letting go and other don't. I don't know why,  but I do know this. I know and understand God's grace in a way they could never understand. (Not saying I know his grace better. just different), I know after I fell away, walked away, turned my back what ever you want to call it,of his forgiveness, and restoration. 


Sometimes I feel that I am looked down at or prejudged because I let go and looked back. But did it mean I didn't love God? NO. I have never stopped loving God. I stopped loving me andthe decisions I made which cost me so much. We all know this doesn't happen over night. It is a missed day of prayer here. No time to worship there. A couple days without feeding myself with God's word and in no time it is all gone.

I know now that even when I thought I was so far away from God, he was always right there waiting for me. I walked away for over 10 years and life hit me hard over and over, then one day I realized just as the prodigal son did. That I would be better off broken in my father's house than the way I was living.

When I fell to my knees on my kitchen floor and cried to my father that I wanted to come back, he didn't stop and give me a lecture or think of whether he should accept me or not. He just reached down with his loving arms and took me in and hugged me and loved me like a lost child that was found.

Through all the years I was away from God there where so many times my life could have been taken but I look back and see how God had protected me even then. Today I know God in a way I never thought I could know him. In the 18 years I previously served him I thought I couldn't love him more. But oh was I wrong... I not only love him more, I appreciate him more, I need him more and I desire him more.

By all rights, I should not be fit for the kingdom of God. But God loved me enough to bestow his grace and mercy on me and received me back with open arms. So daily I proclaim his goodness, I live in awe of him constantly. I see the wonder in the small things in my life. I appreciate each day I have.

It may not be easy but we have all heard the saying " I would rather live in darkness with God than in the light alone". I have been there and Oh, how God lights up my darkness each and every moment.